Cues of Safety
we can receive them, and we can give them
Cues of Safety
I am halfway through the Polyvagal Certificate Course: Safety, Connection and the Human Experience. This week the speaker, Niloufer Merchant, was talking all about co-regulation and finding safety in connection. She shared a video of traffic in India, and asked for our observations and experience watching it. As I watched the video, I could sense my anxiety rising with the chaos of the traffic, but contrasted this with those in the video crossing the street and weaving through the traffic like it was no big deal. She continued to share that safety is complex, nuanced and relative. What feels safe to me might not feel safe to you.
With each module that we complete as part of the course, we also have reflections and exercises to do throughout the week. One week our prompt was to intentionally offer cues of safety to others. For me this looked like saying “hello” to those I passed at the park, making eye contact and smiling at people in the store, putting my phone away and being fully present when with other people, offering a hug to a friend that was sad. It was interesting to observe how strangers responded to my kind gestures. Some returned the smile or said “hello” back, while others ignored the interaction. I had one lady at the park yell back “F*** off.” While this initially caught me off guard, the more I reflected on this interaction in light of the concept of safety, it became clear that what might be received as a cue of safety to some may be a threat to another. It’s not a matter of “Am I safe?” but rather “Do I feel safe?”
What makes you feel safe? How can you be intentional to help others feel safe? Being aware of our own social engagement system and how people experience us can be helpful:
What do my eyes signal?
What does the tone of my voice communicate?
What is my face expressing?
What do my non-verbals/gestures convey?
In the words of Dr. Porges, author of the Polyvagal Theory, “if you want to improve the world, start by making people feel safer.”
This holiday season, as you interact with others, I encourage you to offer cues of safety to those around you. This is often a stressful time of year, and a simple smile could go a long way to help regulate someone’s nervous system. I would also invite you to notice the people, places and things that make you feel safe too, and intentionally make time to surround yourself with those. Your nervous system will thank you, and you will feel the calming effects amidst a potentially very busy and sometimes stressful season.
Gift Certificates Make Great Christmas Gifts!
Did you know Studio A sells gift certificates? This is the perfect way to bless someone else this Christmas. Our gift certificates can be used to book a massage, attend one of our Release and Refresh classes, or join our next Feel to Heal Program (more on that below). To get a head start on your Christmas shopping, head to our website to purchase a gift certificate!
***Please note that in our scheduler, codes cannot be "stacked", which means it allows only ONE coupon/discount/gift code to be used per appointment, so keep this in mind when purchasing gift certificates, that the recipient will not be able to use multiple gift certificates for one massage/bodywork session.
Also, I am accepting new massage clients, so if you need this kind of support in your life right now, I encourage you to schedule a massage with me soon.
Feel to Heal Program - early bird rate thru 12/11
If you experience tension and/or pain in your body that doesn't resolve with traditional massage, myofascial release, physical therapy, etc. then you may be interested to try this holistic 8-week program called Feel to Heal that Allie created and has been teaching for several years now. Starting on January 15, we’ll meet on Wednesday nights at the studio and explore how emotions and other stressors from our lives manifest as pain and tension in the body, if not metabolized in a healthy way or fully completed. Combining nationally-recognized pain treatment with somatic modalities along with self-treatment strategies for pain relief, this is true mind-body therapy for those that suffer from chronic tension or chronic pain and who are willing to explore the deeper systems responsible, or for those who simply wish to understand their emotions better and how to not get “stuck”. It’s a very affordable chance to get a massive education on your nervous system and how it responds to stress (past and current), how it processes emotions, and how it can be taught a new way to handle those things—a way that doesn’t tax the body and cause you to suffer.
This feedback came from one of our participants from this Fall:
"I loved it and wish the classes could keep going. It was so well done -- a wonderful balance of information, visuals, examples, levity, and gentle somatic exercises. It has made me feel like I am not broken... the program has given me tools to move through "triggers" with new insight and skills. I want to recommend this to all my friends."
See more details including specific class dates, the full syllabus, cost of the program, and more testimonials at studioAbody.com/feel-to-heal. The early bird rate of 10% off is available until Dec 11 (that’s next week!), and the program is limited to 14 people, so sign up now via the website!
Enjoy the holiday season!
~Callie